Kitty Boot Camp

Today, we're instating a policy that we should've done a LONG time ago. We've officially kicked the cats out of the back half of our house (i.e. the hallway and bedrooms). The reasons are many and probably too boring for most people's attention span, but just to give you a taste of why we're doing this, here's an example of your typical night at our house.

Humans' Bedtime:
Shortly after the first human heads back to the bedroom, Wynonna Judd begins her initial decent into the greater bedroom area. She typically does this whilst hissing and growling the whole way. This, in turn, only instigates a bad, Wynonna-chasing scenario. Usually Boo or Banjo will chase her the rest of the way down the hall and under our bed. Then, for the next 45 minutes or so, 'Nonna hides under our bed, hissing and growling at whomever gets too close to her. Finally she works up the courage to jump on the bed (which often takes a couple of tries, as she's declawed and overweight, so she lacks the dexterity for rock climbing). She typically sleeps near my head. Once she's in her nest, if one of the cats gets too close to her (which often includes on the bed in general), she hisses and growls.

Middle of the Night(on any given night):
Either one of the cats, again, gets too close for 'Nonna's liking or maybe 'Nonna works up the courage to jump off the bed to get a drink of water. This is followed by much hissing and growling and the occasional alley-cat-like scream. The sound is enough to propel even the deepest sleeper into an upright position in bed.

Middle of the Night (continued) or Early Morning:
Awaken to the sound of 'Nonna scratching on the carpet, where she's about to either 1. (best case) lay a small clutch of petrified cat turds on the carpet or 2. (doomsday case) piss on the carpet and/or wall.

Early Morning (typically an hour or so before the alarm goes off):
Banjo begins his march across our abdomens--with a heavy concentration on our especially sensitive internal organs--in the hopes of getting us to get up and fill their food bowls, which have undoubtedly reached CODE ORANGE levels of emptiness (i.e. 53 morsels of food in each of the 5 bowls). You should note that Banjo weighs more than 20 lbs, so he's a force to be reckoned with as he repeatedly stomps your spleen into oblivion.

So, we put a gate up at the entrance to the hallway. So far, the cats seem mildly annoyed that they can't get to our bedroom and finish their naps on our fluffy bed (trust me: there is a plethora of other fluffy places for them to sleep in "their" new part of the house). Molly has tried several times now to wedge herself through the slats of the gate. She's our best-behaved-in-the-bedroom kitty, so if she were to figure out a way to get through the gate or jump over it, that would be ok with me. The others, however, are too fat to attempt either maneuver.

So, I'm certain that tonight will be rough. You'll undoubtedly hear our cats' caterwauls in your own part of the country. Hopefully though, I'll have some good sleep ahead of me soon.

Update

That thing that I wrote this morning? About "Fall being in the air" and whatnot? I was sorely mistaken. Must've been something in my coffee or something. As soon as I posted that blog, Anna and I went for a walk (about 9am). It was SO hot...and steamy...and disgusting. I sweated my brains out. For awhile there, when we were at the farthest point from our house, I had concerns that I was going to collapse from the heat and no one would find me or A.C. for days, while bands of mosquitoes and flies feasted on our rotting flesh.

So, Fall? Not so much in the air afterall, as it turns out...

KBOR

More randomness to get you through your workday (just like those K-LITE radio stations, except even more boring):

--On Dog The Bounty Hunter last night (it might've been a repeat), it was Valentine's Day and Dog and his cohorts must've said "Valentime's Day" no less than 852 times. That's one of my big pet peeves and it hit my nerve each and every time they said it. And no, I didn't change the channel.

--I can smell Fall in the air. Call me crazy, but I can. Also, the light outside has changed. Fall is on it's way. We also have a yard full of acorns and pecans, thanks to the 6,532 squirrels that reside there (and thanks to my nasty 20lbs/weekly birdseed habit, which is about as expensive and dangerous as a bad coke habit. Luckily, we can buy the birdseed at Costco. I don't think that Costco sells cocaine though.)

--We're (I'm) having a predicament in finding a church for us. We've been going to one in our neighborhood and I like everything about it except that we're the youngest people who go there and I get nothing, zero, zilch from the sermon. I thought that I wasn't able to get into the sermons in the past because either Kevin or myself was wrestling the kiddo the whole time. This past Sunday, we left her in the nursery, so we both settled in to really listen to the sermon. I couldn't follow it to save my life. I'm sorry, but you can't just throw scripture at me and call it a "lesson". I need some real-world implications. So, I'm researching new churches for us to try next week. There's no sense in going to a church that you don't get anything out of, eh?

--We have a new cleaning lady starting today. I've gone through so many in the past 5 years, I can't even keep track of them all. Here's what I want (and tell me if it's asking too much):

~someone who will move my dining room/breakfast room chairs out of the way when they sweep/mop...instead of just going around them

~someone who will make our bed look pretty...not with the comforter turned upside down and backward and the throw pillows stacked in some odd, sacrificial manner at the foot of the bed

~no drama. Don't wanna know about your son who's in prison or your car problems. Sorry, I'm heartless like that. Please just clean.

~please scrub my kitchen sink...that's all I ask

~oh, and dust too. I'm tired of having to go and clean the house myself as soon as the housekeeper walks out the door.

I'm demanding, aren't I? Well, the new lady who starts today is supposed to be fantastic and she seems so nice and *normal*. She also seems to have a dependable car (GASP!) and no children in the pokey.

--Kevin is off Thursday--Monday this week. I'm very excited.

--Not so excited about going to the dentist on Friday though. I know that I have some stuff going on up in my grill, so that won't be fun. I anticipate a few cavities and such. That's what I get for not going to check ups regularly.

--I have a new television obsession: Flipping Out on Bravo. It's a show that follows this guy who does really high-dollar (ugh, hate that term too) real estate flips in California. He does everything top-notch and makes oodles of money. He's also very demanding and can be quite an asshole. I love it and wish I could be more like him.

--My beloved hair stylist told me that I was "radiantly beautiful" when I went to get my hair "did" last week. Seriously, I'm not sure what I'm paying for, the actual hair cut or the compliments. Gay men sure do know how to talk to the ladies. Straight dudes, take note. Of course, if Kevin told me that I was "radiantly beautiful", I'd probably worry that he was gay.

--Onto baby stuff (what you're really here for anyway):

~Anna is sorta, kinda crawling now. She gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. Then, she goes back down on her tummy, scoots on her face to get where she wants to go and then gets back up on all fours. She's a trickster!

~She's got 2 teeth! The two bottom ones came in within days of one another. Aside from some bedtime fussys, she's really been a trooper about it.

~I have a picture to post, but am currently fighting with this computer, so you might have to wait until tomorrow until I can get it working.

Further proof that...

pretty and smart just don't always go together:

Bathtime

Calgon, take me away...

Random, Landom, Ding Dong (A.K.A.: Dumbest Blog Title Ever)

A few things going on:

As the Gulf is acting up and there are storms a'brewin', Anna is cutting her first tooth. She hasn't acted too badly, just fussy--especially at night when it's her bedtime. You can see the first little peak of enameled protrusion down there. Exciting.

I've been refreshing and re-refreshing (?...motherhood has ruined my language skills) other people's blogs and getting pissy when they don't update daily. Hi! My name is Jenny and my blog has been sadly neglected for awhile now.

We had family game night here on Saturday night. Family game night actually involves no members of our family, just close friends. I woke up the next morning with a bruise on the top of my foot the size of a large post-it note. You should also know that we played no contact sports...only board games. I have no idea...

I had to quit buying Edward's Key Lime Pies at the grocery store. I suddenly found myself unable to fit into my trousers. Bugger! (Apparently too much pie also makes one write in a British accent)

On a related note: I am, however, enjoying the South Beach Pizzas. They're especially good cooked in the oven.

Anna Claire has a new taste sensation: She loves pickles! Not ordinary pickles, but jalapeno dills! I was eating one the other day and she kept looking at it and acting like she was interested. I thought I'd get a good chuckle if I just touched it to her lips. I assumed that she'd writhe in disgust and make that "sour face". She did make a strange face, but then she grabbed at it and wanted more. I let her put it in her mouth and that little booger sucked it dry! This is the kid who doesn't really care for many solid foods. Bananas? Blech...Applesauce? Gross...Pickles? Yes, please.

Photo shoot

We finally got Anna Claire's portrait made. Here's one of my favorites.

More to follow...